Thank goodness I live in a free country!

on . Posted in Humor and Inspiration


December 27, 2008 - I was talking with some friends over the Christmas holiday break and they were commenting on how lucky we are that we live in a free country where we have the liberty and the opportunity to live our lives the way we want and are not controlled by the government like in other countries.


So I started thinking about a particular day of mine a couple months ago:

I woke up in the morning in my FHA (Federal Housing Administration) approved home that was built in accordance with USDOE (Department of Energy), FERC (Federal Energy Regulatory Commission), and numerous sections of the CFR (Code of Federal Regulations) .

I went to the bathroom to clean up for work. I showered with soap, shampoo and other toiletry products that have been approved for me by the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) using water that meets federal EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) quality standards.

I went downstairs to eat breakfast foods that had to be approved by the FDA and listened to my morning radio programs which are regulated by the FCC (Federal Communication Commission).

I then got into my EPA and DOT (Dept. of Transportation) standards approved and FTC (Federal Trade Commission) regulated car and was forced by the NHTSA (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration) to buckle my seat belt and put my daughter into an approved child seat. I then drove on DOT regulated roads and was forced to drive a certain speed while listening to more FCC approved programming on my radio.

I stopped for gas but there wasn't any due to state legislated gas quality restrictions which caused a decrease in the supply of gas and also gasoline price controls that kept the price so artificially low that there was an excess demand such that it sold out as soon as it arrived.

I arrived at my DOL (Dept. of Labor) regulated and EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) sanctioned place of employment, running on fumes, and was forced to work the first 2 hours of my 8 hour shift for the federal and state governments by giving almost 30% of my wages to the IRS (Internal Revenue Service) and SSA (Social Security Administration) with no compensation.

At lunchtime I went with colleagues to eat and was forced to pay with the only medium of exchange the government approves that is regulated by the FRB (Federal Reserve Board): worthless fiat bank notes.

I then went to pick up my daughter from school where she’s learning a DOE (Dept. of Education) approved curriculum. I took her to an HMO (Health Maintenance Organization) approved doctor to get her HHS (Health and Human Services) mandated vaccinations that I learned she needed while watching a Disney family movie that was interrupted by an HHS PSA (Public Service Announcement).

After returning to work I checked my SEC (Securities and Exchange Commission) and IRS regulated investments in my now Federal Treasury owned banks to see if I’ll be able to retire someday since the SSA trust fund that I've been paying into for 25 years has been raided by the federal government and is now bankrupt.

That afternoon I had to catch a flight to our office in Detroit aboard an FAA (Federal Aviation Administration) approved plane operating at an FAA regulated airport.

Before boarding I had to pass through a TSA (Transportation Safety Administration) security checkpoint where I was forced to disrobe down to my shirt, pants and socks and pass through a scanning machine that saw right through my remaining clothing.

On board I noticed federal sky marshals with weapons so I decided to have a cocktail composed of liquor that is controlled by the ATF (Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms), as are the sky marshal’s guns.

Once sufficiently sedated with bourbon, I sat back and relaxed and thought to myself: Thank God I don’t live in a country where the government controls your life!

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