Actual U.S. passport application letter sent back to State Department

on . Posted in Humor and Inspiration

Dear Mrs. Ms. or Sir:

I am in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this.

How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable TV from them in 1987 (23 years ago) and yet the federal government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?

For Christ’s sake, do you guys do this by hand?  Ever heard of computers?

My birth date you have in my social security file. It's on every income tax form I've filed  for the past 30 years. It's on my Medicare health insurance card and my driver's license, It's on the last eight damn passports I've had. It's on every stupid customs
declaration form I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane for the last 30 years. It's on all those census forms that we have to do at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'm reasonably confident that neither name is likely to change between now and when I die.

Between you and me, I've had enough of this bureaucratic bullcrap!

You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my address.

What is going on? You must have a gang of bureaucratic Neanderthal morons working there!

Look at my damn picture. Do I  look like bin Laden?   I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat.  I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.

Would someone please tell me why would you give a damn whether I plan on visiting a farm in  the next 15 days?

If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now because I have to go to the other end of the city and get another copy of my birth certificate to the tune of $100.

Would it be so difficult to have all the services in the same area so I could get a new passport the same day? Nooooo, that would require planning and organization. It would be too logical for the federal government.

You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off. Then we have to find someone to confirm that it's really us in the damn pictures - you know, the ones where we're not allowed to smile. Hey, you know why we can't smile?

We're totally pissed off!

Signed

An Irate Citizen.

P.S.: Remember what I wrote about getting someone to confirm that the picture is really me? Well my family has been in the united States of America since 1776. I have served in the military for something over 35 years and have had security clearances up the yin yang.. However, I have to get someone important to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA!

And you idiots want to run our health care system???

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